What Tapping Head Means in Indonesia

It is not my first time in Singapore, but it is my first time staying for longer time in Singapore, living in new place which has totally different language with my mother tongue.  Fully acknowledge that communication problems likely aroused, I landed at first week in Singapore right after finishing final exams in my home university. With all excitements and little bit worries, a lot of worries actually, I start my life here. 

As exchange student, I interact a lot with other international students because NUS conducts a lot of event which seems specially design for us. I’m getting know some friends from various country.  We hang out, discuss, and go to concert or just chit chat for hours spending time after meal in dining hall. Everything seems nice and fun. Until one day, a guy tapped my head.

I was so surprised. I was blank for moment. Curious, furious, displeased, all of those feelings mixed. I was speechless and had no idea what should I do. I kept asking how come a guy that I just know for week can tap my head easily while passing by, and acted as it was nothing? Then I realized, I’m not in one of 17.000 islands in Indonesia archipelago, and he is not Indonesian. He probably doesn’t know that touching or tapping someone’s head in Indonesia can cause gang fight.  Yes, Indonesian subjects head, human head, your head, as precious thing. We do not touch other person head easily. Of course joking around with your best friends or patting your closest one is exception. And tapping someone’s head who you know for less than a month, when you’re passing by is not one of exceptions.

I kept feeling uneasy by myself. As I mention before, I just worry my lack in English will trouble me here. Communication problems, not intercultural ones. Since I wear hijab (jilbab in Indonesia, tudung in Malay), I do prepare myself for worst possibilities when I interact with other international students. But this kind of differences such us tapping head is out of my worrisome.  I do not prepare for such intercultural clash. I’m surprised differences can affect me so much. 

Well, I can’t feel uneasy by myself. I want to clarify this problem, ask him directly and tell him nicely. But, next time I saw him, we just met, passing by. Like usual, we greeted each other. And again, I got another tap in my head. Just like previous time, I lost my self for moment. But then suddenly I realized, he did it as greeting. Still felt uncertain, I asked another friend who comes from same country as him. My guess was wrong, she told me tapping head means blessing. But, they do not do that as habit. 

Now I’m relieved. I fully realize that people act differently because they grow up and live in different background. But it’s funny that I still kept feeling uneasy though I acknowledge those differences. I’m also thankful for my blind spot in expressing my self. If I reacted at the time he tapped my head, we probably are not friends anymore. I learn to put more effort in acknowledging differences now. Well, my life here getting more and more interesting.