One of major matter in communication is resolving interpersonal conflict. Being apart in most of interpersonal relationship, making resolving conflict technique become major issue. Many books and movies adopt interpersonal conflict as theme. Surrounding by bunch of information in resolving conflict everyday, however, people often simply choose to avoid the conflict. As we know, this can be damaging because it can lead to greater problem in future.
Lets take a look at interpersonal relationship in a novel winning South African Boeke Prize in 2004, The Kite Runner. Being nominated at Oscar 2008 for its same name adaption film, story began in Wazir Akbar Khan, a district of Kabul Afghanistan, between 2 close friend: Amir and Hassan. Amir is son of reputable man who lost her wife when she born Amir. As son of Amir fathers servant, Hassan spend his childhood with Amir: roaming in the street and playing happening toys at that time: kites.
Amir father loves both Hassan and Amir. Yet, Amir feels less loved because Amir father is often harsh to him for being weak, lacking in courage and being not manly enough. Feeling responsible for his moms dead, Amir feel pressure when it comes to communicate with his father. His father who changes into more reclusive after being left by his wife, do not talk much with his son. Unfortunately, this bad communication affects Amir. Being terribly afraid in making his only parent disappointed, Amir secretly feel jealous with his closest buddy, Hassan
One day, Amir and Hassan spent their afternoon in playing kites. Hassan run to last kite cut in order to make his only friend, Amir, proud and happy. Kite flew to distant cloistered place where Assef, a violent neighborhood boy, await. Assef kept a revenge to Hassan due to his lost in dispute. Hassan refused to give up the kite. Assef did his revenge, assaulting and raping Hasaan. Worrying why Hassan not going back, Amir searched Hassan and hide when he heard Assef voice. He saw the rape, but to scared to help him. After that, Amir and Hassan keep distance each other for some time, untill Amir can not stand his guilty anymore.
Story above is just one plot of the kite runner storyline. It seems so complicated yet giving us small picture the effect of avoiding conflict. Amir father chooses to not discuss and just let his son alone, feeling guilty for his mom's death. Pretending everything runs well, makes their relationship even worse. It effects Amir in his social live.
Just like I mentioned before, people face interpersonal conflicts in daily life. When it comes to solve problems, people have choice to either avoid or face it. Not forgetting the fact that most people already know communicating, seems can be best way to solve problems, then why people still choose to avoid conflict? What factor influence people to either avoid or face conflict?
Reference:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419887/
http://www.wikisummaries.org/The_Kite_Runner
Hey Fiza,
ReplyDeleteI commented earlier but apparently Google has seen fit to delete my comment. Go figure. Anyway its a refreshing perspective about the dangers of not engaging parties in a conflict or not inciting a conflict when sometimes creating an interpersonal conflict might actually be the right thing to do.
I was also struck by the attitude of repression that was a constant theme in the book when I read it. Not just in the protagonist's story but throughout the persecution of the region by the Taliban and even in the end, the abduction of Hassan's son. Even the Hazara, accepted their lot in life meekly.
The book shows the consequences of such repression in stark detail. Perhaps a lesson for us to sometimes choose to engage in conflict for the betterment of others.
Kite runner! a great book! I guess Amir was not being a true friend as he did not help Hassan when he was being bullied.
ReplyDeleteI felt that people chose to avoid conflict because they did not want to get themselves into trouble. Its natural human instinct to avoid danger of any kind. However, if one is willing to help a friend, even if it means getting involved in a conflict, his friend would definitely appreciate it!! as the saying goes, a friend in need is a a friend indeed!
Hey Fiza!
ReplyDeleteI'm really intrigued by this book too! Have you read "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by the same author before?
Well, I agree with what Gang Rui has mentioned. Perhaps, in every conflict that we first met, there is this phase of silence where the two parties would first reflect on what happened. However, the main problem seems to set in when no one is willing to take up the responsibility or be courageous enough to address this impeding issue.
Although "ignorance is bliss" at times, I would definitely want to resolve any misunderstandings with my love ones or friends if it means a lot to me! It really depends on the personality type of the person you are in conflict with whether he or she is willing to agree or accept other perspectives.